Brian’s Reflection: Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen
to you, because someone's got to take care of all your details.

- Andy Warhol, who was shot and critically wounded on this
date, 1968, by actress Valerie Solanas

Not I.

In an antique wooden chest on my bureau is an envelope. In it are (a) my funeral wishes (b) a list of the people to be contacted upon my death (c) the Service Leaflet for my Memorial Service (d) the sermon I have written for my obsequies. (I once, at a clergy gathering, said that I had written my own sermon for my Memorial Service; the bishop said “Not a controlling bone in his body!”

Attached to this envelope is another. It contains my Will. I believe in being tidy. And I will not be embarrassed at all. All my “details” are taken care of. Dennis just has to “follow instructions”. (He will take my ashes to Tuscany to be scattered there.)

We plan everything else (except our birth). Birthdays, marriages, holidays, etc. I am absolutely in favour of serendipity in Life. There should always be room for surprise and for the unexpected. But I have always thought that Death in particular should be planned for. It is rude not to do so! An unfair imposition on others. Death is an important transition point in Life, and it shouldn’t be left to others who may be in a fragile state of mind.

The whole point, of course, is to “free yourself up”. Preparing for your funeral makes you think about dying, about mortality, about your fears, your priorities, your values. The sooner those things are dealt with, the more you can throw yourself into Life, make the most of every day. This is what I think God intended. Jesus taught not to fear Death; Life is the primary focus.

So, I have the important stuff done. However, I recommend leaving a few intriguing things about when you go ….. a few mysterious emails, a couple of unidentified photos of naked men/women, that sort of thing. It’s good to give people a chance to think you were a Mystery!

Brian+