Brian’s Reflection: Monday, July 25, 2011


Paradoxically, we achieve true wholeness only by embracing
our fragility and sometimes, our brokenness. Wholeness is a
natural radiance of Love, and Love demands that we allow the
destruction of our old self for the sake of the new.

Jalaja Bonheim (in Aphrodite's Daughter)


Hmmmm. I work on the principle that the Universe, Life, the World, the Mind, whatever, offer us various wisdoms and principles by which to live. Gazillions! Even given the fact that there are various processes that try to organize all this into categories we can deal with - religion, philosophy, art, fiction, etc - the fact remains that it is quite a job to test them out and make our choices. At least I find it so. But eventually we have to choose a path ….. or not, I suppose - and I often wonder which group is the most successful.

Bonheim offers three Principles here. Where am I with them? Where are you? In the limited way of 65 years and of an only rather modest capacity for courage and risktaking, I’ve tried all three out. Without going into all the gory or lurid details, Do I find useful, practical wisdom in “Wholeness is a natural radiance of Love”? Yes. I’ve satisfied myself, my own desires, my longings; that has been somewhat pleasurable. When I’ve loved and cared for others, I’ve felt more whole - more like what I wish to be.

“Love demands that we allow the destruction of our old self for the sake of the new”. Yes; I agree. I’ve resisted change and I’ve embraced change ….. and found that one must change in order to mature as a person. The “old self” is designed to self-destruct. No destruction, no butterfly, metaphorically speaking.

“Paradoxically, we achieve true wholeness only by embracing our fragility and sometimes, our brokenness.” I have tried at times in my Life to eliminate, deny, ignore, repress my fragility and my brokenness. No luck. Eventually, it sneaks up and smacks you up the side of the head. Fragility and brokenness (think of Jesus on the cross, a core metaphor of this truth) is Who We Are. Wholeness must include everything.

What’s the message? As I see it: Be Real. Reject nothing that we discover is part of being Human. Love all that is, perhaps especially the brokenness, the fear, the helplessness, in ourselves and in others. I think there is enough evidence that this leads more to wholeness and peace and serenity than not.

Brian+