Brian’s Reflection: Monday, June 9, 2008



I have conquered an empire but
I have not been able to conquer myself.

- Czar Peter I of Russia, born on this day, 1672


Well Peter – join the club. You’re in good company, believe me. As far as I know, there is no one who has been able to conquer her/himself.

Trying is a waste of time. Which is not to say, of course, that we don’t try to do our best every day to be our best human self. What our “best human self” is is, of course, up for grabs. Every religion and faith and philosophy has taken a stab at defining what our “best human self” is. Some want to be like God. Some want to be like ….. pick your villain.

But, let’s say that most of us want to be loving, caring, thoughtful, compassionate, generous, faithful, courageous, free of fear. There will be good days and bad days and mediocre days. Let’s not be too hard on ourselves, OK? That, I have found, doesn’t accomplish diddley. As Don Miguel Ruiz says, Do your best every day - and, our “best” will depend on a lot of changing factors. We need to cut ourselves some slack. We’re only human!

Here’s where self-awareness and forgiveness and “grace” come in. We need to understand that we aren’t and never will be perfect. We need to forgive ourselves and others their imperfections. And we need gratefully to accept every bit of help we’re offered, whether it be from the Divine Source of Being or our next door neighbour. And Do Our Best every day, whatever that may be in the circumstances.

Most of us will do pretty well day by day. Hey, I think that’ll be OK.

Brian+

Brian’s Reflection: Saturday, June 7, 2007



It is the eye of ignorance that assigns a fixed
and unchangeable color to every object; beware
of this stumbling block.

There is always a heavy demand for fresh mediocrity.
In every generation the least cultivated taste has the largest appetite.

- Paul Gauguin, artist, born on this day, 1848


Well, I had to choose both quotes. I address the second first. Bigotry has taken over American society. “The least cultivated taste has the largest appetite.” I’m not being a snob. All of us have “lower” and “higher” tastes. We live in a culture that deliberately directs us to the “lower” tastes. Because that’s the way that those who want to control us (read: Government, politicians, worshippers of Mamon) manipulate us. Smart people. And we, suckers that we are, buy it. Or - is it because our spiritual Life is bankrupt, and we have abrogated our God-given freedom?? You betch’a. And God does not approve, say I, pretentiously “speaking” for God.

Jesus’ final gift to us was the Holy Spirit. We don’t “like” the Holy Spirit. Because the Holy Spirit is Wild. Uncontrollable. Unmanageable. The Holy Spirit “leads us into all Truth”. Unflinchingly. Without fear. The Holy Spirit can’t be bought. When we give evidence of succumbing to absurdity, the Holy Spirit smacks us up the side of the head. “Get a grip! Listen to the Living Word of Life!”

Artists know the Truth. Our fearful minds want to wallow in the false security of “unchangeable colour”. But the artist screams “Beware!”. There lies bitterness and stagnation and pettiness and self-destruction. “Learn! shouts the artist. None of us is fully human. There is a Journey to make. The Christ calls us to it. We are not listening. And the World is going to Hell in a handbasket.

Time to Evolve. Time to pay attention to the Voice Within that tells us plainly what we need to have Peace and Joy and Justice and Understanding.

There is no one else to “blame” but ourselves for our misery. Certainly not God.

Time to change. At the least, it is only self-interest. At best, respect for the potential of them human community.

Brian+

Brian’s Reflection: Friday, June 06, 2008



I do believe we're all connected.
I do believe in positive energy.
I do believe in the power of prayer.
I do believe in putting good out into the world.
And I believe in taking care of each other.

- Harvey Fierstein, actor, best know for “Torch
Song Trilogy”, born on this day, 1954




Me too.

Someone asked me the other day if I “believed” in things like reincarnation and in near-death experiences (white light in a tunnel, etc). I said emphatically “No!” and “Yes!” The writer Thomas Mann, who was born on this day in 1875, said, “… myth is the foundation of life; it is the timeless schema, the pious formula into which life flows when it reproduces its traits out of the unconscious.” It doesn’t matter (to me anyway) whether the process of “entering into the fullness of Life” is by reincarnation or “resurrection to new life”. Both deal with the foundational myth of Life, that is, what is Life and where does it flow from and where is it going – and, importantly, how do we do it successfully. I do believe – or, I should say I think I believe, since my thinking constantly expands! - in a Universal Unconsciousness which connects us all, out of which flows all of the dimensions of the Mystery of Life, in differing forms. Life is eternal, and we amazing human beings will experience that in many ways and images.

Harvey said he prays daily – but doesn’t believe in God. I think that’s because “prayer” is not necessarily a religious concept. It is a universal human spiritual concept. Prayer has the power to change our life, open us up, take us on to new paths. Prayer rumbles through our interconnectedness like a seismic tremor. Prayer is essentially (as I persistently say) a commitment to a relationship with all manner of Existence and to growth – not a way of wheedling concessions from a grumpy God/ess.

Putting good out and Taking care of each other. Another version of Love One Another. Follow that path and, as my grandmother used to say, “we’re away to the races”.

Brian+

Brian’s Reflection: Thursday, June 5, 2008



As I have not worried to be born,
I do not worry to die.

- Federico Garcia Lorca, poet, author,
born on this day, 1898, in Fuente Vaqueros,
Granada, Spain


I hope this was true. Lorca was killed by the Franco Fascists at the beginning of the Spanish Civil War, in a degrading way, as a homosexual.

It is hard not to worry. Jesus pointed out that worrying was a useless thing. But it is hard not to worry, not to be afraid, fear being at the base of worry. And it is hard not to worry about dying.

But most sensible religions and faiths have beautiful stories about what it’s like to die and to journey on into the next world. Oh, forget the Hell nonsense. God doesn’t send anyone to “Hell” to be punished horribly. “Hell” is choosing fear and hate (of self and others) and ugly power-posturing. It’s easy to know these things – we have plenty of examples in our World today, especially in the grasping, greedy, venal politicians who dominate the scene, as well as perverted religious types.

The Gospel is clear. God is Unconditional Love. Every time hate and fear raise their ugly heads, God is champing at the bit to smother it all with That Great Eternal Firehose of Compassion - if I may be permitted a flight into the language of another Christian language tradition!

We came into the World without worry, without anticipation. It was a great surprise. Lorca is wise: best to view the dying in the same light. If we can, it enhances Life immensely.

Brian+

Brian’s Reflection: Wednesday, June 4, 2008



.......The major influence on the level of "dis-stress" in our lives ….. is our self-identity - who we think we are. "A rigid identification with the personal `me' causes us to overreact to the events in our lives", Dr. Moss says, and can contribute to stress-related illness. Our best path to health, according to Dr. Moss, is to enlarge our sense of who we are: "Individuals of expanded consciousness are no longer exclusively concerned with `me'. They perceive issues differently and thus behave differently."

- Chop Wood, Carry Water


Gosh! Do I not seem to remember that ….. ah ….. Jesus might have proposed such a thing? And other “Greats”? Finding “me” by loving others?

Individuals of expanded Consciousness.” That’s the goal! Establishing our self-identity by enlarging our sense of who we are by getting unstuck on Me. Holding “ME” together as if this were unrelated to anything else requires too much energy, too much stress.

Makes sense. I think it would work for nations too, you think?? America and the rest of the World’s warring nation states could “perceive issues differently and thus behave differently”. What an imaginative thought.

Let’s all of us see if today we can really concentrate on “the other” - and watch our stress drop and our Me evolve nicely. And maybe even a little shift in the whole shebang!

Brian+

Brian’s Reflection: Tuesday, June 3, 2008



Do not mind anything that anyone tells you about
anyone else. Judge everyone and everything for yourself.

- William James, Sr., philosopher and theologian,
born on this day, 1811


One day, travelling through the Albuquerque airport, I bought a copy of the book “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz. I’ve been reading it over and over again, bits at a time, for months. I read, I ponder. Ruiz’s mother was a curandera (healer) and his grandfather a nagual (shaman) in the Toltec tradition. After becoming a doctor, Ruiz was drawn to follow in his Toltec tradition.

The Four Agreements are: (1) Be impeccable with your Word (2) Don’t take anything personally (3) Don’t make assumptions (4) Always do your best. I thought of the third as I read James’s quote.

Yes, others may accurately now and then “see” another’s “truth”. But 99% of the time, we project our own stuff onto others. Making assumptions from what we hear from others is dangerous in many ways. It is critically important to trust one’s own experience and make one’s own judgments. And why it’s important to “know oneself”. This is hard work!

Not taking anything personally is the other side of the coin. Someone can say you’re great, or horrible; they like you, or hate you. 99% of what they say has to do with them, not you. Instead, know and be the person you want to be. James also said:

Live all you can; it's a mistake not to.
It doesn't so much matter what you do
in particular, so long as you have your life.
If you haven't had that what have you had?

Good advice, I think!

Brian+

Brian’s Reflection: Monday, June 2, 2008
Feast of the Martyrs of Lyon



The Life of Faith is a Life of endless horizons.

- Brian McHugh, ordained priest on this day 35 years
ago, at Holy Cross Monastery, West Park NY


Thirty-five years. I remember it as yesterday. Liturgically, it met every desire. That beautiful Romanesque chapel designed by Cram. A hundred friends, and the OHC community there. An ordination stole from a dear friend, embroidered with the date – later stolen. Incense so thick that Bishop Stiff, coming down the aisle in procession, looked like he had only half a body. I had poison ivy so bad that my ankles were wrapped in thick bandage to prevent the ooze running down my legs. Palms anointed with oil. Many priests laying on hands with the bishop. I tell you, I felt, felt to my core that I had become what I was meant to be.

But the moment I remember most? My parents were there. My father, a long-estranged Roman Catholic, and my mother were the first to come down the aisle to the altar to receive the Eucharist. I was astonished! Giving the sacred elements of sacramental bread and wine to my father. First time I had known him to do such a thing. And afterwards, they were the first to receive the blessing of the newly ordained priest.

Today, I know that I was meant to be a priest. Exactly what it means to be a priest has gone through many changes in 35 years. And still is, into my “retirement”, it shifts. I hope I will never stop learning what this great mystery means.

I have loved some things about priestly ministry; some I have hated with a passion. The words I’ve quoted I said once in a sermon, and they were calligraphied on a watercolour given to me on leaving my parishes after 9 years in NY. But the remembrance I value the most is a Rainbow Flag that hangs on the wall of St. Peter’s and St. Andrew’s, Providence RI, where I served for 9 years. It was brought down the aisle at the Offertory of my last Sunday there by the Vestry. They said it wasn’t for me, it was for them. A symbol that they accepted me as a Gay man and priest, as valued as any child of God.

I realize now that I’ve lived my lived on these words. I’ve listened to voices calling, and moved on with trust and excitement into different experiences, having sensed that the moment had come to venture towards a new horizon in faith, with the hope that I had given what I could to where I had been. My “reward” has been superb friends, people I have helped to a vision of a freeing, glorious, loving Divine Companion, bringing of myth to life, willed love, and much joy and laughter and willingly shared sorrow.

Horizons are endless. And wondrous in the life of Faith. I look forward to many more adventures.

Would I do it again?

Yes.

Brian+