Brian’s Reflection: Friday, May 8, 2009

If I could only remember that the days were,
not bricks to be laid row on row, to be built
into a solid house, where one might dwell in
safety and peace, but only food for the fires
of the heart.

- Edmund Wilson, author, born on this date, 1895


Being Gay, fifteen years of monasticism, some serious ill-health, and ministry in the Episcopal Church helped me to receive the gift of “food for the fires of the heart” that Wilson so elegantly and poetically refers to. And I am very grateful. That gift has deeply enhanced my life.

The four things I mention all gave me certain kinds of Freedom. Freedom to Be. Freedom not to Possess. Freedom from the Fear of Death to Live Fully. Freedom to find Self in Service.

It also taught me to appreciate Love, a much more dependable “solid house”, where one might dwell in safety and peace”, and to try and make whatever bricks I’ve lived in such a place. That process is an eternal endeavour! The Bible reports Jesus as saying that there is no one who has given up land, family, etc for the sake of the Gospel who does not receive back a hundred-fold – and I have experienced that Mystery!

Many things can be “laid row on row” to provide some dwelling place. But not days. Days so laid disintegrate. They are unsuitable material for walls and roofs. They are “food for the fires of the heart”, fleeting opportunities that offer themselves to us for Life.

We have a day today, and hopefully tomorrow and more. May we use it to fire our hearts!

Brian+