Brian’s Reflection: Thursday, January 2, 2011
It is not hard to feel like an outsider. I think
we have all felt like that at one time or another.
Alan Cumming, Scottish actor; he was born
on this date, 1965, in Aberfeldy, Perthshire
I have. Oh God, I have.
Yet, I have been blessed. Extraordinarily so. And when I look back on it, it comes as a great “surprise” to me. As if I had nothing to do with it. And yet I did. Though I often didn’t, don’t, see it. What I didn’t – and still often don’t - see is that there was, is, a Mystery working in me that has guided me throughout my Life. It isn’t a Mystery that I know just through my religious journey in Christianity. It turns out that it is much more brilliant, more wondrous, more charming, more deep than I even now understand. Which I find utterly delightful! By some cosmic grace, I was enabled to choose not to demean, to dehumanize myself.
Believe me, I had a much less traumatic journey as a Gay man than most of my Gay friends. In my journey, I avoided any sense of self-hate, and sense of inferiority. My sense of that for Gayfolk didn’t come until later ….. and it is the reason that I have been consumed by a sense of rage all my Life. And yet, as much as my insides churned with this rage, I somehow managed not to act out that rage, but to find in my ministry as a priest ways to lead others to new understandings.
So many Christians want God to be picky and exclusive. Meaning they want to control and define and limit God. And to make God in their own Image. In this, the Church often colludes – to its shame.
For the “God” I know, there are no outsiders. And I am deeply grateful that I encountered this God early in my Life. If you feel an “outsider”, I happily transfer my blessing to you! The fact that others would consign you to being an Outsider does NOT make it so. They do not have that power. Only you can concede that power to them ….. and I beg you not to.
In the realm of the Beloved, there are no Outsiders.