Brian’s Reflection: Wednesday, Dec 10, 2008

Love is anterior to life,
Posterior to death,
Initial of creation, and
The exponent of breath.

- Emily Dickinson, poet, born
on this day, 1830, Amherst MA


Ah, the Belle of Amherst!

I awoke at 2:00am last night. It’s the dammed prostate thing! I have no idea how long this is going to go on – it’s been two months now. Some nights, I come back to bed and I fall immediately asleep. Others, I know within thirty seconds that I am not going to go back to sleep. And I have learned to grab a book and read. Happily, my partner is not disturbed by light. I was up from 2am until almost 5.

What kept me awake was my brain. Once it starts thinking, that’s it. Last night I thought about Love. What IS it? What are its characteristics? Is Love enough to make Life “work”? I’ve worked on understanding It for decades now. Jesus life and teaching has been central, and then my experience – often teaching hard lessons. I have learned to distinguish Love from infatuation and from sentimentality and from sex. If we just Love – as I often propose – will it really make Life work, bring happiness and Joy and Peace? Or am I being naïve?

Emily is a Romantic. I guess I am too. I believe Love is at the heart of it all, the very breath of Life. It isn’t airy-fairy. It is hard-nosed reality. It takes a strong person, a faithful person, to believe and to practice.

I guess I believe in Love because it’s simple and clear. Uncomplicated. Anyone can understand it.

So I keep on.

Brian+